Trump Urges Ukraine to Cut a Deal Before Things Get Worse
The self-proclaimed master dealmaker is back at the podium, explaining modern warfare through fuel prices and muddy dirt roads.
Trump gathered reporters at the White House to explain that Ukraine simply needs to end the war, arguing that Russia has an unlimited supply of people and keeps taking ground week after week.
His core argument is that refusing to cut a deal now will only make the future terms catastrophic. In the same breath, he managed to complain that massive aid sent to Kyiv somehow resulted in skyrocketing diesel prices back home in the US.
Then came the tactical history lesson. He took personal credit for supplying Javelins that saved Kyiv after a 'very stupid Russian general' decided to turn off a paved highway straight into farm fields right after record rain, leaving an entire armored column stranded in the mud.
As for getting Zelenskyy and Putin into the same room to sign anything, he admitted that is probably unrealistic because they utterly loathe each other, so signing from separate corners would work just fine.
Geopolitical strategy in Eastern Europe has apparently boiled down to keeping two leaders who despise each other in separate rooms and hoping nobody checks the weather forecast for mud.
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